Your Second Trump Impeachment Pregame Watching Guide

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There’s never a bad time to impeach Donald Trump again, and this week he’ll be on trial for his second impeachment after he encouraged MAGA chuds to storm the US Capital on January 6. Trump’s second impeachment trial starts Tuesday, so it’s time to bust out the ‘Twas the Night Before Impeachment  poems. put on your Impeach t-shirt, and pop the popcorn and bake some peach cobbler for the second impeachment trial of Donald Trump.


The trial starts Tuesday, February 9 at 10 a.m. PT (1 p.m. ET), and will probably only go for four hours, until 1 p.m. PT on Tuesday. It will then resume at 9 p.m. PT every day, and starting Wednesday, it’s probably going to last a lot longer than four hours a day.

While the impeachment trial will be held on Sunday, they will take a pause on Saturday, because one of Trump’s not-yet-fired attorneys David Schoen is an observant Jew who has told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that he does not roll on Shabbos.


Your cable news channel of choice will probably carry the Senate trial proceedings live, unless your cable news channel of choice is Fox News. If you don’t have a cable news login, you can still watch the impeachment trial live online for free on Youtube, on C-Span, or on the live webcast of the US Senate floor.

This whole thing is probably only going to last about a week, because the Democrats know they almost certainly cannot convict Trump. They need a two-thirds majority to convict him, which would require 17 Republicans crossing the aisle and siding with them. Considering that only five Republicans voted that it was constitutional to impeach Trump in a late January vote on that matter, there is no way the Democrats are going to get 12 more Republicans to vote with them.

Which means they will not get a two-thirds majority to convict Trump, which means they won’t be able to bar him from ever holding public office again. And if he runs for office again, there will probably be a third impeachment of Donald Trump. 


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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.