satire

26 Sep 2019

Global Warming Causes Electrical Fan Use to Increase by 9000% in San Francisco

In 1970 the average low for San Francisco was a little over 53 degrees across summer months. By 2018, that figure was up to a little over 56 degrees.  “56 degrees at night in San Francisco is already untenable,” said a local San Franciscan, “But 80 degrees?!  We’re not equipped

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
26 Sep 2019

E-cigarette Executive Claims Only Side-Effect of ‘Vaping’ is looking like a ‘Douche bag’

“we did extensive testing, and the only measurable side effect of vaping, was a significant increase of douche levels in individuals.”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
17 Jun 2022

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 37 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 37 of the finest locally owned bars,

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Aug 2019

Trump Hotel to Open at Burning Man

Great news for luxury festivalgoers this year at Burning Man, the newest, hottest glamping experience on the playa is at Trump Hotel Black Rock City.  With the most exceptional views the playa has to offer, Trump International Burning Man Hotel & Putting Green is a sophisticated, exclusive, immersive experience that

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 1
27 Jun 2019

All Debate Candidates Receive ‘Participation Trophy’ from Chuck Todd

The first of two Democratic Presidential Candidate Debates were held in Miami Wednesday evening.  Ten presidential hopefuls covered everything from healthcare reform to the economy in various, 30-second soundbites.  At center stage stood Sen. Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, she was the highest polling candidate of the evening and NBC moderators

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
20 Jun 2019

Fast Food Chain Promises ‘Meatless Burger’ Will Still Cause Diarrhea

The famed ‘meatless’ burger has passed the testing stage and is now making its way into major fast food chains across America. Fast Food CEO and spokesperson Randy Hambuckler, reassured the press this week that, “although the meatless burger does not contain the fast food meat you’ve come to love,

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
11 Jun 2019

SF Woman is Completely Out of Hot Weather Clothes 4 days into Heat Wave

After several consecutive days of extremely hot weather aka heat wave in San Francisco, many SF residents are finding themselves completely out of warm weather outfits. “One or two hot days are fine, great even, but four days in a row!?”  Exclaimed SF resident Sara MacDougal, “The only clothing options

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
01 Apr 2019

Salesforce to Paint Golden Gate Bridge Blue For Dreamforce Conference

Every September downtown San Francisco is completely overrun by Salesforce’s giant Dreamforce conference. Thousands of people come from around the world to do whatever it is that people do at Dreamforce, while the city’s already hellish traffic is made considerably worse by the closing down of streets near Moscone Center.

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
05 Feb 2019

Trump to Announce Canadian Border Wall to Keep Out Polar Vortex

“When Canada sends its weather, they’re not sending they’re best.  They’re not sending sunshine.  They’re sending weather that has lots of problems.  Their weather is bringing ice, it’s bringing snow, it’s raping people.  And some of it, I assume, is good weather.”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0